Introduction:

The family, as one of the most fundamental social structures, is undergoing significant transformation due to cultural shifts and the changing patterns of mate selection. The first five years of marriage constitute a critical period in which marital conflicts may arise, potentially leading to relational erosion and dissatisfaction if left unresolved. Beyond individual skills or psychological characteristics, discursive, cultural, and semantic mechanisms also shape how these conflicts emerge and evolve. Among these mechanisms, the discourse of romantic love—widely represented in media, literature, and social networks—plays a central role in forming expectations about intimate relationships. This discourse frequently projects idealized, emotionally charged, and sometimes absolute portrayals of romantic relationships. Contemporary research indicates that satisfaction in romantic partnerships is closely linked to attitudes toward marriage, suggesting that early representations of love significantly influence marital expectations. When the idealized images offered by dominant cultural narratives fail to align with the realities of married life, tension and conflict are likely to arise. Many studies examining marital conflicts focus primarily on psychological variables, such as attachment styles, communication skills, or personality traits, often overlooking the discursive and socially constructed dimensions of meaning. However, lived experiences of love and marriage are not formed in a vacuum; they are shaped through cultural narratives, symbolic representations, and socially circulated expectations regarding what romantic intimacy should look like. This reveals a theoretical gap concerning how individuals internalize the discourse of romantic love and how such internalization contributes to the formation or intensification of conflicts during the early years of marriage. Given this context, the present study aims to address this theoretical void by exploring the interpretive and meaning-making processes through which romantic love discourse becomes embedded in couples’ lived experience, ultimately shaping marital conflicts in the first five years of marriage.

Methodology:

Grounded Theory is particularly suitable for generating conceptual models based on local, context-specific data and is therefore well aligned with the aim of uncovering less visible cultural and semantic mechanisms that influence marital conflict. Participants The sample consisted of 16 married women, aged 30 to 40, residing in Tehran, all within the first five years of marriage. The key inclusion criteria were: - marriage based on romantic love, - having experienced marital conflict, - willingness to participate in the study. Data Collection Data were gathered through semi structured interviews, each lasting between 60 to 90 minutes. Interviews continued until theoretical saturation was achieved—that is, when no new conceptual insights were emerging from additional data.



Findings:

This methodological framework seeks to provide a grounded, culturally informed understanding that moves beyond merely psychological explanations and instead captures the social construction and interpretive processes shaping marital conflicts.

Contributing Factors to Marital Conflicts:

1. Cultural and Media Narratives: Idealized, emotional, and conflict-free images of love in media like Instagram, romantic novels, and films set unrealistic expectations. These narratives often emphasize perpetual love, constant attention, and effortless happiness, contrasting sharply with marital realities. This leads to dissatisfaction, feelings of inadequacy, and intensified conflicts as couples compare their lives to these media-driven ideals.

2. Pre-Marital Love Experience: The intensity and focus on emotion during courtship, where partners often feel like a top priority with continuous love and respect, create an expectation that this phase will last indefinitely. Early passion tends to minimize problems, leading to a generalization of this idealized experience to the entire marital life.

3. Individual Issues: Low self-esteem, insecure attachment patterns, and a "savior" complex contribute to fantastical perceptions of love. Individuals with low self-esteem may seek constant validation from their partner, while those with a "savior" complex might view their partner as a solution to personal problems, expecting love to resolve all challenges.

4. Family Background and Parental Relationships: Experiences within the family of origin, including parental conflicts or insecure attachment patterns, significantly influence perspectives on love and marriage. Family attitudes toward love and generational differences in views on commitment and patience also contribute to early marital conflicts.

Causal Factors of Conflicts:

1. Unrealistic Expectations: Couples often expect continuous understanding, respect, extensive spousal sacrifices, and to always be the top priority. They envision a relationship where emotional needs are constantly met, and the partner's attention is paramount. Expectations of unending joy, constant overt expressions of love, and the complete absence of conflict are common. Love is perceived as a stable, positive emotional state, making any decrease in excitement or emergence of differences a source of frustration.

2. Fantasy Perceptions of Love: Love is sometimes seen as an all-powerful force that can unilaterally resolve all marital problems and guarantee commitment, making communication and problem-solving seem redundant. This includes ideas of "becoming one" with the partner and achieving "spontaneous understanding," blurring individual boundaries. Passion and intense emotions are expected to be constant, and any reduction in excitement or need for verbal explanations is interpreted as a deviation from "real love."

Couples’ Strategies in Facing Conflicts:

1. Conflict Avoidance: Many participants avoided direct discussions, suppressed dissatisfaction, and used silence, sulking, and a lack of active listening as primary tactics. Negative emotions like anger were often suppressed.

2. Conflict Engagement: Others reacted overtly and emotionally, expressing anger directly and sometimes uncontrollably. This involved constant, repetitive arguments, blaming, and humiliating the partner as a means of confronting conflicts.

Cultural and media narratives, especially social media, shape romantic love by portraying it as perpetually emotional, conflict-free, and requiring no communication skills. This creates a norm against which real, imperfect marriages fall short. Pre-marital love experiences, often intense and emotion-driven, set unrealistic expectations for the entire marriage, leading to disappointment when initial excitement fades. Individual issues like low self-esteem and insecure attachment can turn romantic love into a source for compensating emotional deficits. Family background, including parental conflicts, also influences perceptions of marriage. Causally, fantasy-like expectations and unrealistic views of love, where it's seen as the sole source of emotional needs and a replacement for communication skills, guide couples. Love is often perceived as a problem-solver that should eliminate conflict. This leads to individual and relational consequences: emotional frustration, boredom, doubt, regret, ineffective interaction cycles, and even thoughts of separation. Family interventions, individual therapy, and critically examining romantic love discourse are suggested to help couples adopt more realistic views. The core finding is that an "idealized perception of love and romantic life," shaped by culture, media, and personal experiences, drives these unrealistic expectations. This perception, viewing love as automatically conflict-eliminating, causes a gap between imagined and experienced love, resulting in early marital conflicts and dissatisfaction.